We’ve all potentially been there. You’re interviewing for a new job and have already had multiple interviews. And then you’re invited to a final stage interview to have an informal chat and be shown around the office. The signals are positive, and naturally, you begin to think there’s a good chance that you’re the final candidate, they’re going to make an offer and you’re in a stronger position to negotiate that offer.
But then, at the beginning of the meeting, the interviewer tells you you’ve done well to get to this stage and that you’re one of two remaining candidates. New information, which may or may not be true, has been presented early, but it’s not what you wanted to hear, and suddenly, you begin to think maybe you’re not as close as you hoped and your expectations change.
This happened to someone I know recently. They were interviewing for a position and were invited for a chat and show-around of the office, but at the start of the meeting, they were informed there was still another candidate being considered.
Not ideal for my friend but from the interviewer’s perspective, it’s very clever and here’s why. Sharing that piece of information immediately reframed my friend’s expectations. I asked them afterwards whether their expectations were heightened or lowered as a result, in terms of receiving an offer and what offer they would accept. Their expectations were lowered in both cases.
I then asked whether they would be more likely to accept an offer below their limit on salary. They were more likely.
The interviewer very effectively reframed my friend’s expectations in a collaborative way and at the very beginning of the meeting.
From a negotiation perspective, and no matter what the negotiation is about, managing information in terms of what you do or don’t tell the other side and when you do will have a profound effect on what happens. Some might say don’t tell the other side what they need to know, but the issue with that is it invites them to fill in the blanks on their own and make their own assumptions, which are likely to be wrong. And telling them too late can also come across as adversarial, desperate, or worse, as false, all of which are unlikely to be met with a favourable response.
During a negotiation on a consultancy project recently, the buyers in the situation wanted an agreement at the next meeting and had a crucial piece of information to tell the other side early to frame their expectations accordingly but didn’t. They waited. And by the time they did share it, the meeting was more than halfway through, compromising the possibility of an agreement because it was too late, the sellers didn’t believe it, and it didn’t give them enough time to consider it and respond constructively.
When preparing for your negotiations and other meetings you have, think about the information they need to know to frame their expectations, as well as the information you need to get from them. And if you need to tell them something to manage their expectations, then don’t wait, do it as early as possible. It’s far more likely to be effective. And if you want to keep things collaborative, make sure your information is true, or at least credible; otherwise, expect suspicion or disbelief, which may not suit your interests.
